Me: We should write a book.
Alex: Just write down what I say.
Me: I don’t even know why I talk to you.
Alex: I’m entertaining. I would talk to me too.
Alex: I make grown dudes giggle.
Me: I’ve been talking to you for an hour? WTF?
Alex: I told you I’m entertaining. Time flies.
Alex: How could something about me not be the greatest thing ever?
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Alex: You know who can get it? The werewolf from Twilight.
Alex: Sid, if I get married, you’re gonna have to stop calling me “Jones”
Me: Naa, nigga. I’ll still call u Jones.
Alex: Sid, I need you to check my Spanish paper.
Me: How ‘bout u wake up first, Jones.
Alex: How bout u suck me off, Sid.
Alex: I am going to kick you in the face.
Me: You’re weird.
Alex: No, you think I’m superhuman. That’s what it is.
Alex: Mom, u gave me too much sangria! This is child abuse.
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Wise, but never antiquated; complex, but never overwrought. This is my friend, Alex, ladies and gentlemen. The "Greatest Person Ever".
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