RUDE Pants

A few years back, when I arrived to the new world which is college, I noticed a lot of girls wearing tights (leggings) (not yet RUDE pants) instead of sweat pants to the gym. At times, these women would wear the gym attire to, from, and in class, understandably so. The operative phrase here is gym attire.

The next year, it progressed into girls on campus wearing them with ballerina flats, canvas sneakers, and (gasp) heels. And so it began. The opening salvo had been fired in the make force-men-all-around-the-world-admire-your-figure crusade.

Well...fine, I am man. I like that. Go for it.

The trend/ malady was taken a further step still, with the girls on campus not only wearing said tights with Uggs (or knock off snow boots), but with shirts that stop at or above the waist. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, butts were indeed exposed. These girls quickly wised up to the fact they cannot simply wear any type of underwear with the pants, rapidly transitioning to having more thongs and seam-less underwear in their drawers. From that point forward, women's butts (arses, culos) were to be forever exposed.

The trend developed into a kind of style, sorta like the "girl uniform" of RUDE pants and shirt. No need to coordinate jean washes anymore. And, like many styles, this one expanded to the masses, so civilians (including black girls with ridiculously big arses) began to adopt the RUDE pants style.

Epidemic indeed.

I know you see it all around you. Butts everywhere, jiggling with reckless abandon, teasing everything down to the very core of my manhood. Regarding trends, however, be it musical or of fashion, saturation tends to kill them off, or at least dilute them a bit. The RUDE pants have since become ubiquitous, and it has come to a point where seeing them is a bit paralyzing. Trying to avert your attention from the thin piece of 34% polyester-42% acrylic-21% rayon-3% spandex cloth is mentally draining task really.

Not that I'm a butt connoisseur or anything, but I'm a man. It's what we do.

I'd just ask that the RUDE pants are worn in moderation, not as the essential part of a wardrobe.

I just told someone about this post while writing and she said, "Guilty! I haven't worn jeans in a year." She's not lying.

Oh, and thanks for the tongue-in-cheek, American Apparel.

I haven't come up with an acronym for them yet, so feel free to christen RUDE with one in the comments.