RUDE Pants

A few years back, when I arrived to the new world which is college, I noticed a lot of girls wearing tights (leggings) (not yet RUDE pants) instead of sweat pants to the gym. At times, these women would wear the gym attire to, from, and in class, understandably so. The operative phrase here is gym attire.

The next year, it progressed into girls on campus wearing them with ballerina flats, canvas sneakers, and (gasp) heels. And so it began. The opening salvo had been fired in the make force-men-all-around-the-world-admire-your-figure crusade.

Well...fine, I am man. I like that. Go for it.

The trend/ malady was taken a further step still, with the girls on campus not only wearing said tights with Uggs (or knock off snow boots), but with shirts that stop at or above the waist. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, butts were indeed exposed. These girls quickly wised up to the fact they cannot simply wear any type of underwear with the pants, rapidly transitioning to having more thongs and seam-less underwear in their drawers. From that point forward, women's butts (arses, culos) were to be forever exposed.

The trend developed into a kind of style, sorta like the "girl uniform" of RUDE pants and shirt. No need to coordinate jean washes anymore. And, like many styles, this one expanded to the masses, so civilians (including black girls with ridiculously big arses) began to adopt the RUDE pants style.

Epidemic indeed.

I know you see it all around you. Butts everywhere, jiggling with reckless abandon, teasing everything down to the very core of my manhood. Regarding trends, however, be it musical or of fashion, saturation tends to kill them off, or at least dilute them a bit. The RUDE pants have since become ubiquitous, and it has come to a point where seeing them is a bit paralyzing. Trying to avert your attention from the thin piece of 34% polyester-42% acrylic-21% rayon-3% spandex cloth is mentally draining task really.

Not that I'm a butt connoisseur or anything, but I'm a man. It's what we do.

I'd just ask that the RUDE pants are worn in moderation, not as the essential part of a wardrobe.

I just told someone about this post while writing and she said, "Guilty! I haven't worn jeans in a year." She's not lying.

Oh, and thanks for the tongue-in-cheek, American Apparel.

I haven't come up with an acronym for them yet, so feel free to christen RUDE with one in the comments.

The Origin of "That's What She Said"

Just so you know.

That's What She Said from Megan Mullally

LOL

funnyordie.com

The Situation x Snooki x Pauly D: My Inspirations

So... MTV's Jersey Shore is pretty much awesome (dad from Modern Family voice)! I'm sure you've heard of the show by now. Yes, the latest and biggest meme has so much steam it's been in Saturday Night Live, ESPN, and even The New York Times, in a semi-positive light (gasp). What's so captivating about this show, and other reality shows, for that matter is, it portrays a group of people with similar interests (insane women striving to fall in love with Flavor Flav). Anyway, here's a hilarious video I came upon about said show.

Enjoy.

The REAL Situation (Feat. MTV Jersey Shore's The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D) - watch more funny videos

Here's a link to the NYT article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/04/arts/television/04shore.html

mtv.com
funnyordie.com

Mouse Pointer Torture at selfcontrolfreak

So while dicking around (browsing) the internetz I found this fun little website. It's basically this guy who interacts with and at times, abuses your mouse pointer. In one interactive video he eats it. In another, he runs away after seeing it. This is a really creative way to interact with the user in a video. I'd like to see something like this developed further in the future to implement things such as alternate endings/ storylines.

Anyway, click the picture. I dare you.

selfcontrolfreak.com

MTV VMA's: Taylor Swift vs. Kanye West

This man pulls no punches.

mtv.com

Crazy Things Women Do On Facebook

“A woman might also use her Facebook photo albums to present an image of herself that doesn’t exactly match up to reality. In her photos she might appear more sexy, more adventurous and altogether more exciting than she is in real life.”

Check out this piece below from Ask Men.

Crazy Things Women Do On Facebook

And, yes, it's written by a woman, so she would know. But I'm sure many men partake in such fuckery as well.

Shared via AddThis

gRaMmaR pEeVE's

I hate it when people mix up you’re and your. And when they put apostrophe’s where they (do not) don’t belong. (see the deliberate error? no? head back to sixth grade).

If something is plural, add an “s” or “es”. The apostrophes (are not) aren’t necessary people! They are (they’re) there for a reason: to help speech flow more smoothly. I also find it immensely irritating and juvenile when people over the age of eighteen tYpe LIkE tHis. It takes more time, people, and (it is) it’s just stupid, really.

Sure, I do not (don’t) have the greatest grammar in the history of life, but our cohort, college-aged individuals, should do better. After all, (we are) we’re the future leaders of the world. We scribe sentences everyday for social networking, classes, blogging, etc., so we get loads of practice.

No, I am (I’m) not a linguist, nor am I on a crusade to preserve the English language. I just feel language was created so we could communicate and lie to each other, and how better to mess that up with bad grammar. Sure, I could post “the pros and cons of lying” but (I will) I’ll leave that for some other time. For now, (let us) let’s not destroy the universe. Thanks.

Sport Shopping

this post is courtesy of my iPhone, while shopping...with women. from time to time, due to extenuating circumstances, I end up shopping with women. no, I don't get persuaded or goaded into it. somehow, some-effing-how, it always happens. I must admit, maybe 1 percent of the time, I knowingly throw myself to the wolves and agree to this shopping-with-women thing. (random: when I'm agitated, I tend to not make eye contact). anyway, shopping-with-women may be the most disappoining and upsetting thing. ever.

technically, women don't know how to shop. generalization: they buy things because they're on sale, not because they actually want them. putting it all together, guys are minimalists in a sense (I know I am), whereas girls have a bunch of extra crap they never really wanted in the first place. oh, and like many woman endeavors, this shopping occurs very sslloowwllyy.

while men do things like throw around a football, play a quick 21 or hours of FIFA/ madden, women shop with women. and, as aforementioned, it takes forever...literally. I'm sure the man things I mentioned above are equally upsetting to them (women), and i bet my female friends can enlighten me in that regard. but for now, I can't see it from that perspective, as I am but one man. I mean, think about it: me seeing it from their perspective would grant me way too much power and clairvoyance, thereby destroying the universe.

Don't go looking for something you'd rather not find

Some people can handle the truth, others can't. We all know this. You can tell some people you got that promotion, while it's best to let others find out on their own. Same thing with females. Now I'm not gonna generalize...much. I actually have a few questions:

1. Why do women feel the need to go thru a man's phone? Do you think you're gonna find an interesting YouTube vid on it? some cool photos? Or do u really wanna read word for word what I planned on doing to some chick right before I came and saw you?

2. Why do women ask questions to which they KNOW well and good they won't like the answers? I'm in my early 20's. I'm in college. Don't be surprised I do rude nigga shit from time to time. See, my problem is that I DO tell the truth. Because I'm a grown man, I choose not to speak about my sex life to any and everybody. If we are not an item, I owe NOTHING to you in that department. Some things are just better left unsaid. I'm not saying walk around like a clueless fuck, but I'm 99% sure you're 100% sure I talk to other women. Isn't that what "single" means anyway? Oh, and that 1% is me thinking there's an off chance you're mentally challenged! Again, I'm not saying we all should have Jedi-like levels of intuition, but I mean, if you know me as well as you do (and you know who you are), get a clue. Use common sense. I tell you everything you need to know, not what I think you need to know, but what I know you need to know. Otherwise, feelings get hurt. Quite frankly, the rest just complicates things. Shit like that could destroy the universe...seriously.