“A woman might also use her Facebook photo albums to present an image of herself that doesn’t exactly match up to reality. In her photos she might appear more sexy, more adventurous and altogether more exciting than she is in real life.”
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Philly + Vick = ???
[Now I have to start off by saying that I never condoned what Vick did. Carrying out and supporting the brutal torture and cold-blooded execution of those dogs was sick and demented. He deserved to serve some time, and I am glad that those dogs are now getting second chances at healthy lives. I also understand that canines are highly beloved in our society, and so it really hurts people when they think about the cruel shit he did. And because I never owned a dog myself, I really do try to look at this situation from a dog owner's perspective. I also want to say that the following comments I'm going to make about Vick haters are dictated towards some of them...not all.]
The latest news to shake up the American sports world was the signing of former Atlanta Falcons star quarterback Michael Vick by the Philadelphia Eagles yesterday night.
Honestly, as a fan of both the Eagles and American football, I'm just excited and eager to see what he can do both on and off the field. And that dog fighting thing?
It's done.
Over.
结束了。
Now that Vick has done his time and shown extreme levels of guilt and self-hate, I think it's time for people to back off. Over the past couple of years, I have read and heard countless descriptions of this guy as some kind of cold-blooded and heartless murderer who deserves nothing less than the same fate of some of the dogs he owned. Actually, check out this gem from Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia:
Damn that's some pretty strong language, Mr. Byrd. Now what's your stance on race relations in the US? Skip to about 1:15 for the good stuff.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Bob used to be an "Exalted Cyclops" of the KKK (does that mean he hated better than his buddies did?). Oops. I guess hanging people from trees isn't as "BARBARIC!!!!" as hanging dogs from them. My bad.
This leads me to my next point: dogs are not humans, no matter how much people want to believe that. I am by no means a dog hater. Sure I understand that most dog owners think of their dogs as family members (though kissing them on the lips is still questionable to me). But given the choice between saving a sibling or the pet dog from a burning house, I'm going to go with the safe bet that most sane people would rather run in after their brother or sister. It's only the simple truth, and maybe the level of all this outrage should correspond to it.
My overarching point here is that there is just an assload of hypocrisy here about this entire situation. Mike Vick went to jail for two years (more time than some sex offenders), saw his career torn down before his eyes, and lost the adoration of millions of fans because he killed dogs, and people are still wishing death on him? Compare this to Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth, who got 30 days in jail for killing a man...a human being with a family...while driving drunk, and there's maybe 1/80 of the outrage. Also, judging strictly by the way Vick is still demonized, you would have thought that he shot up a daycare center. I just think that all this hatred and backlash could be better spent on...I don't know...maybe hating all the true murderers who got away with heinous crimes against fellow human beings.
In the end, people are for the most part going to have strong opinions about this very polarizing figure. However, it remains the fact that most sports fans have pretty short-term memories. So to most of the Vick-hating Eagles fans vowing to never support the team ever again, I say carry on with the Vick hate for now. Call him cold-blooded, despicable, and barbaric while he's still suspended. But just make sure to squeeze it all in before you forget all about it after he starts scoring touchdowns. Then you can join me in watching an honestly remorseful guy try to turn his life around. If anything, it will be more interesting than Terrell Owen's new show...
...or not. But it will definitely be more appealing to most of the football-watching public.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
We Takin' Over...One Felon at a Time...[Penn in the News]
So me and Sid currently attend the University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League institution located in beautiful West Philadelphia. According to this year's US News Best Colleges list, we are also the 6th best university in the nation. However in spite of the accolades, there is one thing we truly lack and is something I feel a lot of undergrads are bitter about: our complete inability to get name recognition. We already know that we're not Harvard or Yale (old money + old rich donors = fresh), but it's unacceptable that normal people are more likely to know about Dartmouth or Brown than us. Our name doesn't help either, especially during the countless occasions when we're confused with another top tier institution of learning.
Anyway, because we don't get too many props from the national media, you can imagine our surprise when we saw this last week:
Meet Scott McGann: West Coast computer programmer-turned-scrap metal artist-turned-homeless dude-turned-national headline. Oh, but that's not the real story. The real story is the shirt he is proudly donning in this photograph. If you look closely, the upside-down phallus actually contains the names of all of Penn's college dormitories (Harrison FTW), and the head is our school emblem. These shirts were handed out for free during the end of this past fall semester, and were all the rage since every third person I saw everyday on campus was wearing one. Shockingly, Mr. McGann is not a Penn alum and I could not find anything about a possible connection on Google (if it's not on Google it doesn't exist). This has led to a few possible theories about how he acquired the shirt. I will list them from 1 to 5, with 1 being the least likely just because I like to confuse people and make them read unnecessarily long blog entries.
1. He got it as a gift from a friend or relative who goes/went to Penn.
This is the most unlikely scenario because nobody in their right mind would give away such a majestic article of clothing. Its beauty lies in its simplicity and versatility. How many other shirts can you wear on a hot date, to Stat 111 recitation, AND while getting tackled by a cop? Exactly.
2. He dated a Penn girl and kept the shirt as a souvenir.
Mr. McGann would be quite the catch for Penn girls who like the scraggly, unemployed/unwashed indie rocker look so this scenario is not that unlikely. Although after noticing how that shirt looks on him I would hope, for his sake, that this wasn't what went down...
3. A drunk Penn kid working over the summer in Manhattan took this shirt off and threw it out the window of a cab right before he/she puked. McGann found it the next day and jizzed. in. his. pants.
This is a more viable explanation because the sheer number of Penn kids working in Manhatten over the summer significantly increases the chances of finding one of those badboys lying on the ground somewhere over there. It is also more likely because alcohol can really mess you up, man. It can make people do crazy shit like punch best friends, cry or giggle spontaneously, punch complete strangers, and throw away bad-ass T-shirts.
4. He scoured the internet looking for this particular shirt, and paid top dollar for it when he found it on Craigslist.
We're getting warmer. A lot of Penn kids are intelligent and resourceful so it would not be a surprise to me if some clever bastard somehow managed to procure not one, but TWO of these glorious shirts. Seeing that one was already way too cool for him to handle, he decided to share the love with a lucky stranger by selling the second one.
So what's the most likely explanation of how Scott McGann got his hands on a Penn College House 10th Anniversary T-shirt?
5. He killed someone for it.
That's right. He saw a kid wearing one of these things, and Bolo Yeung'd his ass right there on the spot.
And there you have it, guys and girls. The first installment thus far of Penn in the News. Stay tuned until next time when we actually have an alum getting on the news for doing some wacky shit.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Head in the Clouds: Man on Wire
A few days ago, I rented Man on Wire. It’s a 2008 documentary about Philippe Petit, a high wire artist who, in 1974, walked between the
Fear not, Carriers of the Rod, for this is not your grandfather’s BBC or CNN-style documentary. This film cleverly incorporates elements from Petit’s own recordings of his antics from the early seventies, up to, and including that eventful day in the August of ’74.
Petit himself narrates most of the film as his present-day self, so you already know what happens, as far as his near-death experiences goes. The film, however, finds a way to keep the viewer on pins and needles for the duration, making it a must-see. This is easily one of the best films I’ve seen in a while. Rod certified.
Monday, August 3, 2009
The Self-Proclaimed “Greatest Person Ever”…in Her Own Words
Me: We should write a book.
Alex: Just write down what I say.
Me: I don’t even know why I talk to you.
Alex: I’m entertaining. I would talk to me too.
Alex: I make grown dudes giggle.
Me: I’ve been talking to you for an hour? WTF?
Alex: I told you I’m entertaining. Time flies.
Alex: How could something about me not be the greatest thing ever?
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Alex: You know who can get it? The werewolf from Twilight.
Alex: Sid, if I get married, you’re gonna have to stop calling me “Jones”
Me: Naa, nigga. I’ll still call u Jones.
Alex: Sid, I need you to check my Spanish paper.
Me: How ‘bout u wake up first, Jones.
Alex: How bout u suck me off, Sid.
Alex: I am going to kick you in the face.
Me: You’re weird.
Alex: No, you think I’m superhuman. That’s what it is.
Alex: Mom, u gave me too much sangria! This is child abuse.
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Wise, but never antiquated; complex, but never overwrought. This is my friend, Alex, ladies and gentlemen. The "Greatest Person Ever".
What These Women Can Do With Their Bodies
Please watch both of these videos, with or without sound.
Shakira - She Wolf
Ciara - Love, Sex, Magic (feat. Justin Timberlake)
My, oh my! Some women can learn so much from these two videos (masterpieces).
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
gRaMmaR pEeVE's
I hate it when people mix up you’re and your. And when they put apostrophe’s where they (do not) don’t belong. (see the deliberate error? no? head back to sixth grade).
If something is plural, add an “s” or “es”. The apostrophes (are not) aren’t necessary people! They are (they’re) there for a reason: to help speech flow more smoothly. I also find it immensely irritating and juvenile when people over the age of eighteen tYpe LIkE tHis. It takes more time, people, and (it is) it’s just stupid, really.
Sure, I do not (don’t) have the greatest grammar in the history of life, but our cohort, college-aged individuals, should do better. After all, (we are) we’re the future leaders of the world. We scribe sentences everyday for social networking, classes, blogging, etc., so we get loads of practice.
No, I am (I’m) not a linguist, nor am I on a crusade to preserve the English language. I just feel language was created so we could communicate and
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