The Dream Team (Shameless Objectification Part 2)

see Part 1

In the hypothetical situation that God and Deebo ask me to create a soocer team of highly attractive, scintillating women, this is the team I'd assemble. Each one has a different role, as you will see below. My XI will gladly defeat anyone's squad. It's on!

Megan Fox: Def (US)

This actress simply exudes sex. If I saw her in public, I’d probably pounce on her, just as she’d do to oxen.

Lovefoxxx: Def (Brazil)

The eclectic Brazilian songstress’s inclusion in the team appears to be misguided upon first inspection, but it’s her bravery which sets her apart from most women. At most of the shows with her band CSS, she wears these wild outfits. She seems to favor the one-piece, colorful mind-fucks.

Rosario Dawson: Def (US)

Just her height gets my juices flowing…all of them.

Kerry Washington: Def (US)

Simply stunning. This woman stops men mid-sentence. Don’t believe me? Try uttering a word in her presence.

Olivia Wilde: Mid (US)

“She’s so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox. She’s mesmerizing.”

--Megan Fox

Vashtie Kola: Mid (US)

She does EVERYTHING. She writes the treatment for AND directs music videos. She’s fashion-forward with her clothing line, Violette, in addition to 1992 parties, which she co-hosts with Q-tip usually. She appears to be everywhere in the LES (Lower East Side). No wonder she’s downtown’s sweetheart. And any girl who can seamlessly transition from Jordans to heels and kill both outfits deserves to be on my team.

Penelope Cruz: Mid (Spain)

This actress is universally beautiful. She could go anywhere in the world and guys would think she’s hot. Oh, and that accent is enough to make me sweat even if butt ass naked in Antarctica.

Natalie Portman: Fw (Israel)

This woman is simply beautiful. Not only can she get away with going bald. She looks damn fine doing it. "We love you, Natalie." "I wanna f*** you, too!"

Denyce Lawton: Fw (US/ South Korea) She’s just hot...seriously. Sure, she does a lot of stuff, but she’s here because she’s hot. Period. Apparently she has a great sense of humor. We’ll take that, too, I suppose.

Rihanna: Fw (Barbados)

This once good girl gone bad has evolved into quite the hot commodity. From the tattoos to the hair to the overall style, she appears to be in top form. Of course she has a stylist, but who cares, really? She wears it with conviction, unlike most.

Sasha Grey: GK (US)

She takes it in the face like a champ. Duh.